Leave The Madness Alone!!

For those of you who don't just aimlessly wander the ESPN family of networks in an attempt to fall asleep at night, some shocking news has come to light over the last several weeks regarding my favorite sporting event of the year, the NCAA Championship Tournament, known more affectionately as "March Madness."

It appears that there has been some discussion by the NCAA Tournament Committee and the NCAA themselves to expand the tournament field from the current 65-team format to one with 96 teams. It's a bit ridiculous, no?

I don't know if the NCAA realizes it, but the Men's Championship Tournament is the benchmark on which other championships base themselves. It is the most universally watched sporting event across the nation. There are actually doctor's offices across the nation that offer special rates for vasectomies the week that starts March Madness so that the recovery time can coincide with the first two rounds. I don't see discounts the week before the World Series. People will do anything to take part in this sacred tournament.

Filling out your bracket pool is a pastime enjoyed by men and women alike. It gives the girls a chance to top the boys when it comes to sports. To be honest, it's looking like a girl's going to win my pool. It's already so wide open everybody has a chance to watch and win.

There are a few people across the country that picked the Final Four that will compete tonight. But let's be honest: If you picked Duke, West Virginia, Michigan State, and Butler in the Final Four, you don't know shit about college basketball. That's how it works. Winning your pool consists of a varying combination of sports knowledge and luck. Anybody can do it. The current system is PERFECT.

But fuck it. It ain't broke, so let's fix it.

Attention NCAA: If there's one complaint that the general viewing public has about one of your championships, it isn't March Madness. Everybody loves it. Maybe you take a peek at that fucked BCS of yours. The BCS is broken. Fix it. Whenever people complain about the BCS, the following is almost always said: it needs to have some sort of a tournament to determine the champion, much like college basketball does.

When people complain about how terrible the BCS is, they say how much they want it to be like March Madness. So you go and do the smart thing: you change March Madness. Are you blind and stupid? A little deaf too? FIX THE BCS!!! Leave college basketball alone!!! It's not the one that needs fixing!!!

But the NCAA's main complaint about adding football games is the increased risk of injury. Well no shit, Sherlock. There's a chance you get injured in every game you play, and the more games you play, the more a chance you get injured. Will this end your season? I don't know...just ask Michigan State, who plays in tonight's Final Four after losing their scoring leader and team captain Kalin Lucas to a torn Achilles tendon in their second round game.

But since this is going to happen anyway, let's take a look at what this new life with 96 teams would be like:


When I first looked at this new bracket, I had a seizure. There is so much going on that my mind melted. Once I regained consciousness and wiped the drool from my face, I realized that I needed to make some sense of this ridiculous concoction of lines and numbers.

First, each region of the bracket now has 24 teams instead of 16. Teams ranked 9-24 play in the first round, with teams 1-8 getting a bye. When I think of the concept of a bye in a tournament, I think of the NFL, where a playoff bye is truly reserved for the elite. If the top 8 got byes, then first-round failures Notre Dame, Texas, Vandy, Clemson, and UNLV would have all gotten byes. A bye in a playoff or tournament is reserved for the elite. You don't just give it to a team because so many teams have to get one. That's like giving an Oscar to three of the five nominees.

That's actually a theme of the whole idea. When we think of "bubble teams" that are right on the brink of getting into the tournament, we talk about roughly eight of them...not 32 of them. There's no honor to making the tournament if just about everybody gets to go. If there were 96 teams this year, the bubble teams would be (according to RPI) UNC (16-16), South Carolina (15-16), Arizona (16-15), Alabama (17-15), Bradley (16-15), Georgia (14-17)...I think you get the point.

You know why these teams didn't get into the tournament this year? THEY DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE THERE!!! If you don't make it now, your coach has to be fired. They're stopping just short of letting the nation's top high school squads take place (some of them may be better than the teams getting in to a 96-team tourney). Making a 96-team tournament is like getting a participation ribbon. Good for you.

The NCAA Tournament Committee claims that the expansion is based on financial reasons. I call bullshit. You're just tired of the many complaints about bubble teams not getting in. I was right there after the SEC Tournament: How the hell does Florida get in while Mississippi State gets left out? If there are 96 teams, surely the teams being left out are so bad, they won't say anything. You know what? Let's just let everybody in. Have fun kids. Go play some basketball, and when you finish, come pick up your damn ribbon.